Local School Removes Sidewalk

School Board orders removal of community sidewalk due to the risk it posed to local students. Teachers have been complaining about the sidewalk for the past several months, explained school board representative Nick Naylor. Sidewalks are to blame for the recent rise in negative self esteem of students. “Many of my students can barely walk across the campus due to wide spread obesity. This sidewalk only depresses them because it reminds them of their physical challenges,” states third grade teach Mr. Simmons. Representatives for the school bus drivers union educated the school board on the risk that sidewalks had to the ridership of school buses. “If you get enough of these things (sidewalks) in the community, then no one will ride, and we will all be out of a job,” explain driver veteran Otto Mann.

After a long discussion from several local planning officials and school representatives, Local officials have agreed to start the removal of the sidewalks throughout the community. The hope is to protect the children from walking, physical activity, and nature. All of which are activities that occur outside the safe haven of the school, and have impacted the student body. City officials believe that the sidewalks will be removed and forgotten by the end of the month.

Now that I have you attention, remember that this is April 1st. Walk away with a smile, and carry the possibility of this bleak future with you next time some says, “Why do we need to add a Sidewalk?”